Rants and Ravings of a Shiny Key


Despite the floral theme, it's as it says, just me being a bit miserable and occasionally going a bit soft and professing my love for something amazing!

Let me tell you a bit about myself. I'm a former stripper who is on the run from the law for murdering my husband with a wooden spoon. I try to use Tumblr to protest my innocence. Nah! I'm only joking! I've never been a stripper or been married in my life! As for the other thing...

Actually, I want to work in comedy and one day produce my own show. I am currently obsessed with Green Wing, Horrible Histories, Cardinal Burns, Father Ted, Miranda, and many more I can't list down. Also, I am the future stalker of Ben Willbond! I apologise in advance for my numerous plans to kidnap the man!*

If you like my blog, or enjoy the daily sexual frustrations I have, you can also follow me on Twitter, @ShinnyShinyKey I always love to talk to new people, so just drop me a tweet whenever you can!

*I have no intention on either kidnapping or stalking Mr Willbond, my obsession is not that drastic. So anyone reading, you may breathe a sigh of relief!

Ask me anything

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Tagged: BBC Pointless

Source: tubestationatmidnight

jaclcfrost:

hotels can’t be boring to me

they’re just fun

even if i’m sitting in the room watching tv or riding the elevator or sleeping it’s just fun for some reason like they’re average every day things but in a hotel everything is way more amusing and interesting and just simply being in a hotel is fun to me and i don’t understand

Try working in one.

Source: jaclcfrost

teflonly:

this day in horrible history 

↳ 02 September 1666 AD - The Great Fire of London - A fire breaks out at the house of King Charles II’s baker on Pudding Lane.

Tagged: Horrible Histories

dannepink:

You’ve not met Danny Pink yet. New fella, Maths.

Tagged: Doctor WhoI love Danny so much but knowing this show it might all change

Source: dannepink

Good evening. Welcome to the six o’clock news. I’m your anchor…

Tagged: Whose Line Is It Anyway

Source: youslyraccoon

fuckyeahmilesjupp:

You guyssss, Miles has a new DVD!

Miles Jupp - Fibber in the Heat (DVD)

In 2006, Miles Jupp decided to jack it all in and embarked on a trip to India in an attempt to become a cricket journalist. All he had to do, he thought, was blag his way into the English press corps and look like he knew what he doing.

In 2010, Miles told the story of that (mis)adventure in a show at the Edinburgh Festival, which received over twenty 4 star reviews. Two UK tours of the show followed, finishing up in London’s West End. The book of the story was nominated for The William Hill Sports Book Of The Year.

In 2014, Miles (who likes to think things over for a bit) suddenly decided that he wanted to record the show, so he dusted it off and headed to The Torch Theatre in Milford Haven and performed the show all over again in front of some cameras, some microphones and a very nice audience of predominantly Welsh people. This is that show.

GET THE DVD HERE

Tagged: Miles JuppFibber In The Heat

Source: gofasterstripe.com

Tagged: The Thick Of It

Source: willsolverson

Tagged: Doctor Who

Source: mihtrandir

lost-in-ikea:

glam00ur:

all 46 excuses on my friends wall, 

1. i was just really, really early for tomorrow

2. we can’t all be usain bolt

3. in this day and age, we shouldn’t need labels like “late”

4. i had pe first period do you blame me

5. i really, really didn’t want to sing

6. my brother thought it would be hilarious to drop me outside the prison gates

7. you can’t tell me how to live my life

8. #YOLO

9. my legs fell off and i had to roll all the way to the emergency clinic

10. there was a freak yachting accident

11. i am a fucking retard

12. this is just for my wall

13. do you even read these

14. “it does not matter how slow you go, so long as you do not stop

15. i spent my entire night writing tom daley fanfiction

16. my father left my mother for an air hostess seven years ago do you expect me to get over that emotional trauma overnight

17. sarah palin and i got into a twitter war and i couldn’t leave and let her win

18. traffic jammy jammy jam

19. how can i go to school when alex turner

20. my sim was having an emotional meltdown and i needed to be there for her

21. i was sticking it to the man

22. i spent my entire night worrying if i would ever lose my virginity 

23. fifty shades of late; i was walking and then i caught the eye of an attractive member of the opposite sex and we began exchanging significant looks and i knew we would one day make sweet love so i just walked alongside him and tried to catch his eye and to be continued

24. part two he was playing hard to get so we walked and walked and he had the perfect hair colour it was sort of beige brown anyway it turned out he was walking to a bus stop so obviously i had to catch the bus because true love and silently we rode out to papakura and into the sunset

25. my meth lab caught fire

26. my bed is more comfortable than your school will ever be

27. i was sad

28. it was a nice day, so i walked leisurely

29. i had beat my younger brother for saying “swag”

30. i had to travel back to the 1950’s to ensure my birth

31. 2 kool 4 scool

32. i had to stop, collaborate and listen

33. i tried

34. i’m sorry i’m late

      it’s not my fault

      my auntie was killed

      and i joined a cult

35. a haiku about lateness:

late late late late late

late late late late late late late

 late late late late late

36. my best friend was telling me how to give a satisfactory blow job i wish i was joking

37. i was fashionably late

38. i was caught in a flash mob true story omfg

39. i did not choose the late life, the late life chose me

40. do

41. you

42. even

43. read

44. these

45. i was fighting al qaeda

46. traffic

YESSSS IT’S ON MY DASHBOARD AGAIN

the post that doesn’t age

Tagged: This school is half an hour away from where I liveIf I do end up becoming a teacher I'm going to work there

Source: artvevo

Wow! A molecular nanoscaner!

Tagged: Doctor Who

Source: iceinherheart-kissonherlips